


Darkwater

by kylobsessed



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Western, Drunk Rey (Star Wars), F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kylo likes music from earth, Kylo takes Rey on a boat, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Specifically drake, The Force, The Force Ships It, boat ride, but then it doesn't, drunk and sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-04-06 21:35:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19071133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylobsessed/pseuds/kylobsessed
Summary: Reylo ficlets that have nothing to do with each other!They range in emotions, too.





	1. Welcome to Rey's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I guess you could call Rey an inventor.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Rey says.

 

“Yes, of course, I have wanted to my entire life,” Kylo says in his deep voice. 

 

“This is going to be so fucking good,” Rey smiles. 

 

“I know,” Kylo smirks. 

 

Rey guides him to her new personal bar that she installed on a day when she felt extremely bored. It came to her while she was sitting with Finn, talking about the latest bars and drinks on their resistance base. 

 

“Okay, welcome to Rey’s: Lighting Up Your Night!” She exclaims as Kylo shakes his head, his palm to his forehead. 

 

“Wow, you really went all out,” He says. 

 

‘You’re gonna love the one and ONLY drink made for darksiders like you, ugh. It’s called ‘Kylo’s Cocktail’ there’s even alliteration,” She smiles. 

 

“Okay that’s actually really sweet,” He laughs. 

 

“Kylo Ren? Calling me sweet? Wow, I didn’t know that word was part of your vocabulary!” Rey smirks. 

 

Kylo rolls his eyes and growls, “Shut up and make me my drink,”

 

“Yes my lord,” She mocks.  

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed :)


	2. Going... Bad?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo likes Drake and Rey finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This thought came to me in a daydream during class and my teacher asked why I was laughing to myself.

One thing that the strange planet Earth had was their music. The other systems had the Cantina Band and others, but music from Earth was so different and so good. Kylo secretly loved to listen to it, all the time, but he, of course, told no one, that would be foolish. 

Kylo kept a playlist, and when no one was around, he blasted it. Consisting mostly of Drake, a rapper whom he admired, and The Weekend, whose songs were always so seductive, he considered it a good playlist. He found through comments from the people on Earth, most would make fun of him, many thought he would be considered “basic,” but he knew that he was far from that. He just wanted to have some fun. 

“Going bad,” a song he recently discovered started to play and his hands started to move, mimicking the way Drake had danced in his music video “Hotline Bling.” 

He loved the way it made him feel so powerful like he was going bad, even though he technically already was. He wondered if when Drake said he was going bad, he was part of the dark side. 

Rey was stepping out of the shower when she felt the familiar vibration of the force connection. She stepped out of the room and heard an unfamiliar song blasting throughout Kylo’s room. Even more surprising, she found Kylo doing some weird ass dance. 

“What the hell?” She laughed so hard she almost threw up. 

“Oh uh Rey, hello,” Kylo reached out with the force to turn the music off from his data tablet and stood silently in the center of the room. 

Rey brought that up every day from then on.


	3. Drunk and Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is drunk and sad. Luckily, Kylo is there.

Rey stumbled into her quarters drunk and confused. The only problem was that her room was also Kylo’s with the force bond involved. This meant that when she fell onto her bed, she fell on top of Kylo who was on his. 

 

He could feel her in so many ways. He could feel her skin against his, her hands resting on his biceps and her face against his chest. However, he could also feel her, what was inside. He felt loneliness emanating off of her, pouring out onto him, her mind was wide open. He felt her overwhelming sadness consume her and the effect of the alcohol in his head. She hadn’t been very open to him, always shutting him out, but now she was, and he felt guilty knowing she wouldn’t want this. But maybe she did because he could also feel her arousal towards the contact with him. He smirked, so he wasn’t the only one. Then, she spoke. 

 

“Ben whaderyoudoinher?” he could barely understand her. 

 

“I could ask you the same thing,” his voice was soft in her ear. 

 

“I had a littalbit todrink,” she mumbled. 

 

“I can see that,” he smiled. 

 

“Are you maddatme?” she asked, her eyes closed. 

 

“Why would I be mad?” he asked. 

 

“Because I’m lying ontopofyou aauuughh,” she whined. 

 

“No, you’re warm, but you do smell like whiskey,” Kylo laughed.

 

Suddenly, Rey burst out in tears. Tears were running down her cheeks and pooling on his chest, he had never seen her so miserable.

 

“Rey, tell me, what’s wrong,” he pleaded, almost pouty. 

 

“I just feel so alone. Everyone is so nice to me, so welcoming, and I can’t even be grateful,” The tears were almost curing her speech. 

 

“Hey, it’s okay. You have been through more than any of those dipshits have, you deserve to be sad, no matter how nice they are to you,” he stroked her hair. 

 

“That feelssogerd,” she said, 

 

He almost choked, “You are really drunk sweetheart.”

 

“I know,” she whined. 

 

“Come on, up,” he said, sitting up as she clung on to him. 

 

“Uaaaagh whaddareyoudoing,” she pleaded.

 

“Getting you cleaned up, you’ll thank me later,” he said. 

 

When she stood up, he realized that she was groggily trying to get undressed. He swallowed hard, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. He knew he shouldn’t be looking, she was too vulnerable. 

 

“Can you please help me??” she cried. 

 

“Mhm,” he said nervously. 

 

He started to remove her pants and top, and slowly unwrapped her band across her chest. He scooped her up and put her in the bathtub with the warm water he had drawn as she was trying to get undressed. 

 

“Can you help me again,” she rested her head on his chest so that she was half in, half out. 

 

“Yes, but you need to get off me,” he chuckled. 

 

“Right,” she whispered. 

 

He started to pour the water on her head and watched as it ran down her back and wet her hair. He started to wash it and Rey couldn’t help but cry at his kindness. He was helping her, her enemy, she gave him scars and he washed her hair. She didn’t deserve anyone. 

 

“You deserve the entire galaxy, Rey,” he said firmly. She cried in response. 

 

He finished washing her and took her out of the water, wrapping a towel around her and carrying her to the bed. He placed her on the edge and quickly grabbed one of his sleeping shirts. It was way too big, but it was comfortable. 

 

“This smells like you,” she said, smiling. 

 

“Sorry,” he said softly. 

 

“I like it,” she fell asleep and he tucked her under the covers. 

He slept on the opposite side of the bed, trying to avoid getting too close. 

 

“Ben?” he heard in a soft and tired voice. 

 

“Yes Rey?” he asked. 

 

“Can you hold me, please,” she cried. 

 

“Mhm,” He said, getting closer and wrapping his arm around her waist. 

 

“Ben?” she asked again. 

 

“Shh, go to sleep Rey,” he really didn’t want to know what she was going to say. Had she, he may have fallen in love with her even more, and he couldn’t afford that. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was cute and sad at the same time and I'm really confused with my emotions.


	4. Boat Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo takes Rey for a boat ride on a lake.

“Have you ever been on a boat?” The familiar echo of Kylo Ren’s voice rippling through the bond startled her for a moment. 

 

“Hello to you, too,” Rey snaps. 

 

“Answer my question.”

 

“No. I haven’t. If you didn’t kn0w, I’m from Jakku.” She rolls her eyes. 

 

“I know where you’re from, scavenger,” he says with a twinge of remorse. 

 

“Then why are you asking me such a stupid question?” 

 

She hates how the bond didn’t end when she denied his hand in the throne room. 

 

She hates that he keeps talking to her. 

 

She hates that she enjoys his company. 

 

“I was thinking maybe your new  _ friends _ took you for a boat ride.” His voice twinges at the word friends, as if he doesn’t want to admit she has people other than him to talk to. 

 

He hates that she doesn’t want this. 

 

He hates that he wants this. 

 

He hates that she doesn’t want him. 

 

“We’re too busy for  _ boat rides.”  _ She crosses her arms, staring into his eyes across the room. 

 

“Can you see my surroundings? I can’t see yours this time.” 

 

“Yes. I can.”

 

“Good. Then you know that I’m in a house.” He smirks. 

 

“How interesting.” She kicks the old wooden chair next to her. 

 

He ignores her attitude. “A lake house.” 

 

Her head pops up and she immediately regrets doing so; seeing his lips form a smirk. 

 

“I sense you’re intrigued.” 

 

“Barely.” 

 

He laughs. “Want to go on a boat? I can see that you certainly  _ aren’t  _ busy.” 

 

“I don’t need you to have fun.” 

 

“What makes you think that I think you need me?”

 

“You’re doing that thing.” She waves him off. 

 

He leans forward so his elbow is pressing into his thigh, his chin resting on his fist. 

 

“What thing?”

 

“The ‘I know everything’ look.” 

 

“Maybe I do know that you want to do this.” He smirks. 

 

“Maybe I do. Not with you.”

 

“Oh? When are you going to, then?” 

 

She doesn’t drop her gaze. 

 

She doesn’t answer, either, because she knows this is an amazing opportunity given the fact that she has always wanted to be on the water, growing up in the opposite ecosystem. 

 

“Follow me.”

 

She does. 

 

“Can you feel what I feel?”

 

That’s a loaded question, she thinks. 

 

“Like the air? The breeze? Yes. Apparently, I’m more here physically than I am through the bond.” 

 

“Good. That will make the experience better.”

 

_ I’ll say.  _

 

He shows her out of the house and she catches her breath. 

 

Light pours into her eyes, the sky bright with a gleaming sun and the sky a bright blue. Clouds scatter across the scene, following the breeze that lightly cools her cheek. She is in awe at the sight. 

 

Her head follows to the large trees that sway in the wind, reflecting against the clear lake. The lake is what shocks her the most. 

 

That much water in one place. 

 

So clear and beautiful. 

 

“It’s.” She can’t make out the words. “It’s the most  _ beautiful _ thing I’ve ever _ seen _ .”

 

When Kylo sees the tears in her eyes, he can’t help but smile. 

 

Rey deserves a  _ million _ crystal clear lakes. 

 

He will do  _ anything _ and  _ everything _ to help her see the  _ entire _ galaxy. 

 

“Come on.” He smiles and pulls her hand along to the boat that waits gently on the water. 

 

“We go on that?” He laughs when she says this. 

 

“Yes. We do.” 

 

“Okay.” She tries to step on the rocky boat, but he catches her in time. 

 

“Be careful!” 

 

“I know I know.” She waves him off. 

 

As they sit, Rey wonders what he’s doing. Kylo notices her confused expression. 

 

“They’re oars. I have to row to move the boat.” He says, moving the oars in and out of the water. 

 

“Wow! This is so amazing!” Her eyes  _ glisten _ with excitement and her smile beams against the water. 

 

She glides her fingertips against the water softly, allowing the river to ripple against her. 

 

“Why are you here?” she asks, shifting her gaze from the water to him. 

 

“This was an old family house of mine. I wanted to see if it was still here.”

 

“I’m assuming it was.” She smiled. 

 

“I suppose.” He shrugs. 

 

She notices his saddened expression, probably remembering his father. 

 

Remembering who he  _ was _ . 

 

Remembering who he  _ is _ . 

 

“Thank you.” The look she gives  _ kills _ everything evil inside him. 

 

She lights up his heart. 

 

“You’re welcome.” 

 

She sits back and watches the sky. 

 

She sits back and watches him. 

 

Rey will always remember her first boat ride. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came to me in a dream...


	5. Bad Timing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo seems to always show up at the worst time for Rey.

Rey feels it. 

 

The oh so familiar prickling sensation. 

 

The echo in her ear.

 

The loud presence coming to her senses. 

 

Him. 

 

She hates when he just  _ sits  _ behind her. In the times when she just needs space, everything seems to be falling apart, and she is just done, he shows up. She doesn’t know why. 

 

“Can you not do  _ that _ ?” She doesn’t turn around. 

 

“Do what?” 

 

“Just  _ sit  _ there watching me?”

 

“Would you rather me talk to you?” He smirks. 

 

“No. Definitely not that.” 

 

He sighs. “Well, then we have a predicament.” 

 

“I guess we do.” Her tone is sharper than usual, snapping at him. 

 

“What’s wrong?” he asks. 

 

“We are  _ not  _ on that level.” She huffs a laugh from her chest. 

 

“Fine.” He puts his hands up in defense. “I feel like I’m the one who should be acting like this. Not you.”

 

“Really? You think I can’t be angry? That I’m just some happy-go-lucky resistance bitch?” 

 

“Well, you got the bitch part right.” He rests his cheek on his palm. 

 

She finally turns around with a glare so fiery, it seems as if it’s burning him. 

 

“Seriously. What’s wrong?” 

 

“I just,” she says, her tone becoming softer, “I feel like  _ this _ happens at the worst times. It’s kriffing annoying.” 

 

“Agreed. Maybe that’s the point of it. To somehow make it better?”

 

“Bullshit. You never make me feel  _ better _ .” 

 

The words slap him in the face and Rey almost regrets saying them as she feels his silent pain in her chest.

 

“How could I. I’m your enemy,” he snaps. 

 

“Exactly.” 

 

“Fine.”

 

“Fine.”

 

With that, she thinks he might disappear. It would be good timing. 

 

But  _ no.  _

 

He just stays there.

 

“Well, this is awkward.” He chuckles. 

 

“Shut up. I’m pretending you aren’t here.”

 

“When you say that, it ruins the pretending.” 

 

“Shut up.”

 

“You just spoke.” 

 

She tries to ignore him, but he’s just so  _ there. _

 

She suddenly hears Poe. 

 

_ No no no. Please no.  _

 

“Hey, Rey! Can I come in?”

 

She rolls her eyes and Kylo laughs. 

 

“Come in, Poe.” 

 

“You look like shit.” 

 

This is when Kylo bursts out laughing. The hardest laughter she has heard escape his lips. In fact, she has never heard him laugh like that. 

 

She glares at him, but quickly shifts her gaze back to Poe. 

 

“Thanks.”

 

He cringes. “No. I mean, sorry. Are you okay?” 

 

“Yeah, I’m okay. I just need some time  _ alone. _ ” Kylo picks up on her tone and, for a second, he actually does feel bad. He spends almost his entire day alone, so when the bond kicks in, he doesn’t mind so much. But she spends her days with people, she must be tired. 

 

“Is there anything you need?” she asks. 

 

“Oh...no.” He shrugs. “I was just wondering if you wanted to have… uh… dinner. With me. I heard this planet has cool food, and we’re off tonight. I was just wondering… it’s fine if not.”

 

Kylo cringes at the man’s attempt to ask Rey out. 

 

He also fills up with rage. 

 

He admits that he’s somehow jealous. 

 

“Oh. I’ll see if I’m doing anything. Can I get back to you?” She winces as his gaze drops.

 

“Yeah! Sure!” With that, he leaves the room. 

 

Rey turns to Kylo with a firm gaze, crossing her arms. 

 

“What?” he asks. 

 

“Damn it.” 

 

He laughs as he fades away. 

 

She almost misses him. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm thinking about making this a '100 reylo prompts' thing. You like?


	6. Home

“Do you ever miss your home?” Rey asks. 

 

“I can’t,” he says. 

 

“I just don’t understand why not.” She crosses her arms and leans her back against the table. 

 

“Of course you don’t.” He seers, obviously mad at her triggering question. 

 

“We don’t have to talk when this happens, you know. Just don’t be rude and annoying.”

 

“You were the one who asked me.” He glares at her. 

 

“Well, it’s weird when we’re just  _ here _ , I was trying to make conversation.”

 

“Does your conversations always have to be so personal?” He rests his head against the wall. 

 

“I was just wondering,” she says. 

 

“Then stop wondering.” 

 

Rey misses Jakku; it’s her home. She misses the sand, no matter how hot it was, she still does. She misses her nights in the AT-AT, no matter how small it was, she still does. She misses the clear night skies, the only time when everything cooled down. 

 

She feels bad for missing Jakku because she knows how good she has it with the resistance. She has a new home; a new family. 

 

“You shouldn’t feel bad,” Kylo speaks, almost hurt. He had felt her sorrow and regret, it was tearing him apart. 

 

“Stop digging through my mind. It’s not your place.” She snaps, a tear following a path down her cheek. 

 

She hates crying, especially in front of  _ him. _

 

“Your emotions aren’t hidden well. I can feel what you feel.” He crosses his arms. “And you shouldn’t feel bad.”

 

“I can’t help it.” She sniffles. 

 

“Yes, you can. It was your home, anybody would miss their home.”

 

“Except you.” She whips her head to a window overlooking Coruscant. The resistance was going over a treaty and thought it would be best to be in a core world. 

 

“I never said that I didn’t, I said that I couldn’t.” His tone softens. 

 

“Well, do you?” Her head follows back to where he’s sitting. 

 

“Sometimes.” 

 

“When?”

 

“Usually when I’m with you.” 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be. You just remind me of-” He doesn’t finish his sentence, she knows what he was going to say. Ben Solo; he remembers Ben Solo. 

 

“You can still be him, he’s not lost if you remember him.”

 

“Stop. He was weak.” Rey jumped as his words became harsh. “All I mean is that you remind me of the light.” His tone softened. 

 

“And that makes you sad,” she says, bowing her head. 

 

“It makes me ache for you.” 

 

They gave each other one last stare as Kylo turned into an empty chair, an empty wall, and her empty heart. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too sad? I think not.


	7. When You're Everything but Numb

He lead her somewhere; she had yet to figure out the location. All she knew was that he was  holding her hand, gloved, and he was excited; she could feel it. Wherever he was taking her, it was somewhere incredible. 

 

“Ben, where are we going?” Rey asked. 

 

“You’ll see,” he said with a hint of a smirk. 

 

He guided her down the long grey corridor in his ship. He was the Supreme Leader, she thought, he could have done better than this. 

 

They stopped. 

 

They arrived. 

 

Rey realized that she was standing in front of a beautifully lit room, a single table sitting in front of them. 

 

“Ben,” she said, tearing up. 

 

“I thought this would be a nice break from everything that’s going on.” He gave her a warm smile, she could tell how happy he was by the glow of his eyes. 

 

He was practically beaming; in his own way. 

 

“Thank you.” She smiled up at him, slowly walking towards the chairs. 

 

He sat down, wondering if he should have gotten her chair, too. He was always overthinking, always wondering if he should have chosen the other option. The one thing he never did that with was Rey. 

 

The table wasn’t very long, in fact, it was almost intimate. Did he mean to make it that way? Probably subconsciously. 

 

The silence was deafening. 

 

It seemed like they had more to talk about when they didn’t want to talk, through the force bond, each one telling the other reasons why they wish it wasn’t happening at that time. 

 

But now they couldn’t even move their lips. 

 

Kylo didn’t know if that was for the best, so his mouth opened, and then closed abruptly. 

 

“What have you been doing?” Rey asked, trying her best to break the tension. 

 

“Running the galaxy,” he said nonchalantly. 

 

“I hadn’t noticed,” she said, a faint smile spreading across her lips. 

 

Good. This was good. She was smiling. She made a joke. 

 

“Many people say that.” 

 

“Sorry.” Her smile turned into a frown. 

 

“No, it’s not you. It’s just really fucking difficult.” 

 

“I know, but you signed up for it.” 

 

“You could be with me, it would make things a lot easier.” His tone became sharper. 

 

“Let’s not do this now. I’m changing the subject. Do you read?”

 

He chuckled. “I have reports everyday, it’s kind of my job.” 

 

“No, I mean for fun!”

 

“I know. I used to a lot, but now I barely have time to take a shower.” He looked down at his lap. 

 

“Oh.”

 

“I’m free now.” His head snapped up. 

 

“What about the food?” she said, looking down at their meals which they barely touched. 

 

“We can eat later, I want to show you a new book I found.” 

 

“Okay.” A wide smile overtook her. 

 

“I never get to read anymore, but I still have the books.” 

 

He started walking over to his desk. It was plain, in fact, his entire room was plain, Rey was realizing. 

 

“Can you feel here? This room is so empty.” 

 

“I can feel when you’re here with me, that's basically it.” 

 

“Why don’t you just leave this ship?”

 

“It’s not that simple. Plus, it’s better not to feel here. There’s so much suffering, and I don’t feel anything, I just sit, numb.” He started rummaging through his drawers. 

 

“But then you don’t experience when there’s no suffering. When there’s peace-”   
  


“There’s never peace.” He stopped moving, his hands no longer searching.

 

“Maybe not entirely, but in your own place. Like, when I’m with Finn and Rose, I feel at peace.” 

 

“You don’t feel at peace around me?”

 

“How can I? You don’t feel it yourself.”

 

“What if,” he paused. “I tried?” He found the book, and started walking over to the empty space in front of the large window, looking out into the empty stars. 

 

“I would like that.” 

 

He sat down, and Rey rested her head on his lap. 

 

He started reading, his voice deep and soothing, filling the empty gaps of the numb room. 

 

“Ben?” She stopped him. 

 

“Yes Rey?” He ran his fingers through her hair. 

 

“You’re at peace.” She smiled. 

 

“Only for you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crying in the club.


	8. Desperado

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mid-Western AU

He sat in the corner of the bar, even though there was no one else except for her in the rusty dump. As if he chose the least pickable place to sit, and picked it. He was just like that. 

 

His boots were propped up against the table like he owned the place. Maybe he did, but didn’t tell anyone about it. 

 

He was just like that. 

 

His black hair hung loosely around his face, a slight mustache accentuating his features. Rey didn’t want to be caught staring, he seemed dangerous to be messed with, so she turned back to her beer. 

 

But she did notice the way his brow raised when he caught just the faintest glimpse of her gaze.  

 

“Like what you see?” His voice was even deeper than she imagined.

 

She turned around on her stool to face him, her dress twisting around with her. She didn’t realize she had been holding her breath, and let her chest slowly fall, her corset was too tight, but he definitely didn’t seem to mind. 

 

“Depends.” 

 

“Girls like you should watch out.”

 

She fluttered her lashes. “Girls like me?”

 

“You don’t know what you could get yourself into bein’ around here.”

 

“I know exactly what I’m doing being around  _ here. _ ” She furrowed her brows. 

 

He stood up, then, and walked over to where she was propped against her stool, getting almost too close for comfort. 

 

“What’s your name?” His gaze could be described no other than eating her alive. 

 

“Rey.” She took a deep breath, accentuating her chest. 

 

“Do you know where you are?” 

 

“Care to inform me?”

 

He let out a laugh from his breath. “You’re in my town.” He bent down so the last words were almost in her ear; she could smell the whiskey from his breath. 

 

“K-Kylo Ren?” she stuttered.  

 

“Ah. You do know me, Rey.” His mouth quirked upwards. 

 

“I do.” 

 

“Does that change anything?” 

 

Rey held her breath again, and let out a low but defiant word. “No.” 

 

“We’ll see.” 

 

And suddenly, the Kylo Ren disappeared out the door, his boots sending the dusty sand into the air behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	9. Close

_ No this was not a good time at all. Not at all.  _

 

Rey had just started to drift off to sleep for the first time in days, and now this. He was lying next to her; Rey had to move her arm to accommodate him. 

 

_ Fuck.  _

 

“You know I can’t control this.” His voice was so close to her. 

 

“Shut. Up.” Rey snapped, her eyes still closed, trying so hard not to break her blissful rest. 

 

His elbow started to poke into her ribs. “Can you move? You take up so much damn space.” She pushed his elbow out of the way and he grunted, trying to reposition. 

 

“I need sleep, too.” 

 

“Well, you ruined that for me. I haven’t slept in days and I was finally about to.” 

 

“Me too.” 

 

_ I just need time.  _

 

_ You need space, and I can’t give you that.  _ Now his voice was in her mind. 

 

_ Get out.  _

 

_ Your thoughts are loud, I’ve told you this before.  _

 

_ I. Don’t. Care.  _

 

_ You should care more.  _

 

“I care enough!” She didn’t mean to say that out loud, but found herself wincing at her own voice. 

 

“I’m doing my best.” His voice was so calm, unlike hers. Like he suddenly had the most self control, even though a few weeks ago she was witnessing his tantrums. 

 

“Since when are you so...” She trailed on, gesturing her best with her hands. 

 

“When I’m with you.” 

 

“Oh.” 

 

They laid there in silence, both on their backs, trying their best not to intrude on the others' thoughts. Rey caught the faintest auras emanating from him, but it wasn’t as strong as his actual feelings. She could only imagine what the real feeling was like, if she felt as strongly as he did, or the other way around. 

 

Rey turned over, she never was able to sleep on her back, anyways. Yet now, she was face to face with his shoulder, closer than they wanted to be. 

 

His wall of defiance suddenly dissipated, and Rey knew he was asleep. She felt so lonely, trying her best to focus on her breathing, or his. His breath was so deep, she wished she could just enter his mind for a second, to see if it was more peaceful than hers. 

 

But maybe she would only find pain, and hate. She really didn’t know what to expect. 

 

She also didn’t expect him to turn to face her, and she found herself staring into his closed eyes. Now this was even closer. 

 

And then his arm wrapped around hers, and she shivered when his fingers touched her arm; she wasn’t used to contact. 

 

But she could get used to it. 

 

The force must have heard this, and then he was gone. Like he was never there in the first place. 

 

And this was the loneliest Rey had ever felt because now she knew what it was like to not feel that way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


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